Late-Night Texting, Gift-Giving Etiquette, and More – Were You Raised By Wolves?, Hosted By Leah Bonnema and Nick Leighton

Check out the Were You Raised By Wolves? Episode Page & Show Notes

Key Takeaways:

  • Rule of thumb: text no later than 9 PM and no sooner than 10 AM unless it’s an emergency
  • If you know you have to leave early from a sit-down meal at a friend’s house, plant that seed as soon as possible
  • If someone’s fly is down, be discreet and direct. Make eye contact and say – “Your fly’s down.”
  • Avoid giving gifts that give people work
    • When a gift becomes effort, it’s not a gift
  • At the laundromat, wait ten minutes before removing someone else’s clothes from the washer or dryer


How late is too late to text somebody?

  • For one, it depends on who you’re texting
  • Rule of thumb: text no later than 9 PM and no sooner than 10 AM unless it’s an emergency

Is there a polite way to excuse yourself during a sit-down lunch or dinner at a friend’s house?

  • Plant the seed as soon as you can that you have to leave early
    • But: “You should never actually give a specific excuse. If you’re explaining, you’re losing.” – Leah Bonnema
  • Stay through the normal progression of the meal (through dessert) unless it’s at a secondary location (never go to the second location)

How do you tell someone their fly is down?

  • Be direct, be discreet, and don’t use euphemisms
  • Make eye contact and just say – “Your fly’s down”
  • These same rules apply for women

Is it rude to give someone an unusually large surprise gift, like an enormous painting?

  • Yes, especially if you don’t know the person that well and the gift is large enough that it would require rearranging their apartment
  • It’s important to avoid giving gifts that give people work (like having to decide where to place the item)
    • When a gift becomes effort, it’s not a gift

At the laundromat, how long should you wait before taking someone else’s stuff out of the washer and dryer?

  • Five minutes minimum
  • Waiting 30 minutes is definitely too long
  • The optimum wait time is ~10 minutes (and the clock starts when you arrive at the laundromat)
  • When no one shows, pull out the clothes:
    • If they’re in the washer, don’t put them in the dryer – put them in a basket
    • If the clothes are in the dryer, take them out “nicely” – folding is NOT necessary, but be as respectful as you can

Do you have to wait for a travel companion if you have Global Entry and they don’t?

  • (Global entry is essentially expedited immigration)
  • If you feel like hanging out with your friend, wait. Otherwise, meet them on the other side of baggage claim.
  • You shouldn’t have to wait because your friend hasn’t made this a priority

Do you have to return a missed call if they don’t leave a message?

  • I don’t think you have to return unless you’re concerned about someone’s well-being” – Nick Leighton
  • However, there are situations where you may want to get back to your parents or a close friend to make sure there’s not an emergency situation

What do you do when someone gives you a gift you hate (like a dreamcatcher)?

  • If it’s from your mom (or anyone) just say thank you and put it away
    • Then, re-gift it later, or donate it to the Salvation Army
Were You Raised By Wolves? : , , , , , ,
Notes By EWerbitsky

More Notes on these topics

Top Insights and Tactics From

31 Best Podcasts of All Time

FREE when you join over 35,000 subscribers to the
Podcast Notes newsletter

No Thanks