
September 27, 2020
Don’t take it personally – 231| New Mindset, Who Dis? with Case Kenny
Check out the New Mindset, Who Dis? Podcast Page & Episode Notes
Key Takeaways
- When someone offends you, disappoints you, or rejects you, do you respond with snap judgment or with curiosity?
- Other’s actions say a lot about them and very little about you
- “There’s always more to someone than you can see in the immediate. There’s always an opportunity to consider what is that depth that you can’t see” Case Kenny
- With curiosity, instead of thinking that you deserve to be treated badly, you try to understand them better
- If Case could pick a mindset to be in 24/7, it would be empathy
- You’re at peace when you are empathetic
- Case talks about seemingly obvious things because we easily forget or ignore the obvious in favor of the easy
- “It’s easier to react to people’s BS with snap judgment. It’s so much easier to slap a label on someone and just call it a day” – Case Kenny
Intro
- Host: Case Kenny (T: @thecasekenny IG: @case.kenny)
- Check out Case’s website
- In this episode Case talks about how being curious instead of judgmental can help us to not take things personally
The Key to Not Taking Things Personally
- Being judgemental vs curious
- When someone offends you, disappoints you, or rejects you, do you respond with snap judgment or with curiosity?
- Other’s actions say a lot about them and very little about you
- We take things personally when we project people’s actions to ourselves; we think they did something because of us
- In reality, what people do is because of who they are, their past, their issues, imperfections, etc…
- When you react with judgment, you might blame them or even blame yourself
- It’s a quick surface-level response without much thought
- You don’t wonder if there’s more that could explain their behavior
- It fills your heart with hate
- When you respond with curiosity, instead of judgment, you chill out
- You stop blaming yourself
- Instead, you can become curious about what caused them to act in a certain way
- Wonder what’s going on in their life, maybe they have a lot on the plate and are stressed, maybe they’ve been hurt before, etc..
- Being curious doesn’t mean agreeing or accepting their behavior; it’s simply understanding them at a deeper level
- “Training yourself to respond this way initially is going to make you realize that action doesn’t always mean intention” –Case Kenny
- If someone hurt you, it doesn’t mean that they wanted to hurt you
Puddles vs. Oceans
- When we see people as puddles we only look at what’s on the surface
- We immediately react with judgment without much thought
- That’s an incomplete view
- People, relationships, the world are always an ocean
- Oceans represent the depth and complexity of the situations
- “There’s always more to someone than you can see in the immediate. There’s always an opportunity to consider what is that depth that you can’t see” Case Kenny
- Oceans represent the depth and complexity of the situations
Curiosity Shifts the Perspective from Yourself to Them
- Instead of thinking that you deserve to be treated badly, you try to understand them better
- If Case could pick a mindset to be in 24/7, it would be empathy
- You’re at peace when you are empathetic
- You cultivate empathy by being curious about other people and the deeper reasons behind their actions
- You’re at peace when you are empathetic
People are Inherently Good
- But their intentions are usually self-serving
- Sometimes their execution of self-interest can hurt you
- When you approach life with curiosity, you understand that people carry around baggage, insecurities, and traumas
- You’ll stop labeling other people and yourself
Humans Tend to Ignore the Obvious
- The judgment vs. curiosity advice may be seen foundational, almost too obvious
- Case talks about seemingly obvious things because we easily forget or ignore the obvious in favor of the easy
- “It’s easier to react to people’s BS with snap judgment. It’s so much easier to slap a label on someone and just call it a day” – Case Kenny
- Case talks about seemingly obvious things because we easily forget or ignore the obvious in favor of the easy