September 27, 2020

Don’t take it personally – 231| New Mindset, Who Dis? with Case Kenny

Check out the New Mindset, Who Dis? Podcast Page & Episode Notes

When someone offends you, disappoints you, or rejects you, do you respond with snap judgment or with curiosity?
- Other’s actions say a lot about them and very little about you
“There’s always more to someone than you can see in the immediate. There’s always an opportunity to consider what is that depth that you can’t see” Case Kenny
With curiosity, instead of thinking that you deserve to be treated badly, you try to understand them better
If Case could pick a mindset to be in 24/7, it would be empathy
- You’re at peace when you are empathetic
Case talks about seemingly obvious things because we easily forget or ignore the obvious in favor of the easy
- “It’s easier to react to people’s BS with snap judgment. It’s so much easier to slap a label on someone and just call it a day” – Case Kenny

Host: Case Kenny (T: @thecasekenny IG: @case.kenny)
- Check out Case’s website
In this episode Case talks about how being curious instead of judgmental can help us to not take things personally

Being judgemental vs curious
- When someone offends you, disappoints you, or rejects you, do you respond with snap judgment or with curiosity?
- Other’s actions say a lot about them and very little about you
  - We take things personally when we project people’s actions to ourselves; we think they did something because of us
  - In reality, what people do is because of who they are, their past, their issues, imperfections, etc…
When you react with judgment, you might blame them or even blame yourself
- It’s a quick surface-level response without much thought
- You don’t wonder if there’s more that could explain their behavior
- It fills your heart with hate
When you respond with curiosity, instead of judgment, you chill out
- You stop blaming yourself
- Instead, you can become curious about what caused them to act in a certain way
  - Wonder what’s going on in their life, maybe they have a lot on the plate and are stressed, maybe they’ve been hurt before, etc..
- Being curious doesn’t mean agreeing or accepting their behavior; it’s simply understanding them at a deeper level
- “Training yourself to respond this way initially is going to make you realize that action doesn’t always mean intention” –Case Kenny
  - If someone hurt you, it doesn’t mean that they wanted to hurt you

When we see people as puddles we only look at what’s on the surface
- We immediately react with judgment without much thought
- That’s an incomplete view
People, relationships, the world are always an ocean
- Oceans represent the depth and complexity of the situations
  - “There’s always more to someone than you can see in the immediate. There’s always an opportunity to consider what is that depth that you can’t see” Case Kenny

Instead of thinking that you deserve to be treated badly, you try to understand them better
If Case could pick a mindset to be in 24/7, it would be empathy
- You’re at peace when you are empathetic
  - You cultivate empathy by being curious about other people and the deeper reasons behind their actions

But their intentions are usually self-serving
- Sometimes their execution of self-interest can hurt you
When you approach life with curiosity, you understand that people carry around baggage, insecurities, and traumas
- You’ll stop labeling other people and yourself

The judgment vs. curiosity advice may be seen foundational, almost too obvious
- Case talks about seemingly obvious things because we easily forget or ignore the obvious in favor of the easy
  - “It’s easier to react to people’s BS with snap judgment. It’s so much easier to slap a label on someone and just call it a day” – Case Kenny

empathy, judgment, mindset
Notes By Giorgio Parlato