February 22, 2020

Understand Your Emotions & Take Control of Your Life – John Assaraf on Modern Wisdom, Hosted By Chris Williamson

Check out the Modern Wisdom Podcast Episode Page & Show Notes

What’s holding people back in life?
- “It’s all of the internal bullsh*t that people are dealing with that holds them back—their fears of failure; their fears of what will people think of them on social media if they try and fail”– John Assaraf
Framing negative experiences in a positive light is crucial for success
Remember that the last six letters of attraction are a-c-t-i-o-n
- You can’t think your way to success; you must work towards it
If you don’t believe you’re worthy of a goal, your subconscious will recalibrate to reflect that belief

John had a tough childhood:
- He was voted most likely to fail in life by his 11th-grade classmates
- His father was a gambler and alcoholic
- Up until the age of 19, John believed he would work in a factory for the rest of his life

The internet is scattered with free how-to guides for nearly everything: how to build a business, how to write a book, how to lose weight, etc; what holds people back?
- “It’s all of the internal bullsh*t that people are dealing with that holds them back—their fears of failure; their fears of what will people think of them on social media if they try and fail”– John Assaraf
The most common fears:
- Fear of failure
- Fear of succeeding and failing
- Fear of trying your best and disappointing yourself or others
- Fear of being embarrassed, ashamed, ridiculed, or judged
- John adds: “All of these fears have to do with our self-image, self-esteem, and self-worth”
“Fear is the equivalent of driving your car and a dash light popping up on your dash—it’s just a signal” – John Assaraf
Limiting beliefs also hold people back (i.e., “I’m too young to do that,” or “I didn’t go to college for this”)
If you don’t believe you’re worthy of a goal, your subconscious will recalibrate to reflect that belief

No one’s born with just one belief, perspective, habit, or self-image. Every construct in your brain was created over time and can be rewired.
- “The only way you’re a victim of your circumstances, conditions, and past is if you take that role on as part of your identity” – John Assaraf
Use the most powerful tool you own—your brain—to first, believe you can change, and then, start changing
- “The greatest gift we have as a species is awareness” – John Assaraf
Stop thinking of habits are good or bad—think of habits as strategies that either empower or disempower you towards reaching your goal
Framing negative experiences in a positive light is crucial for success
- Many successful entrepreneurs founded startups that failed, but they used that experience to better themselves instead of sulking
- “We have the ability to take things and give them meanings that lift us up instead of tearing us down” – John Assaraf

Whenever you’re in a state of stress, anxiety, or fear, you’re not thinking properly and likely reacting instead of responding; here’s what you should do instead:
- ‘Take six to calm the circuits’: Take six deep, slow breaths in through your nose, and as slowly as you can, breathe them out through your mouth
- Perform ‘AIA’ (awareness, intention, action): Practice awareness without judgment, guilt, shame, or justification
- Take one small action towards a positive result
  - “If you’re in control, you’re directing; if you’re out of control, you’re reacting” – John Assaraf
Rewrite your life story:
- Write down and complete the sentence: I’m so happy and grateful for the fact that…
- Next, write down the kind of body you want, your desired income, where you want to travel, etc.
  - Each day, take one small step that moves you toward your desired life

The law of attraction should be renamed “the law of resonance”
- “The key for humans is, how do we get into resonance with the frequencies of what we want to achieve?” – John Assaraf
- You need to get into alignment/resonance with the things you hope to attract: “Get your head, your heart, your gut, and your behaviors aligned, and then you’ll be in resonance” – John Assaraf
Remember that the last six letters of attraction are a-c-t-i-o-n
- You can’t think your way to success; you must work towards it

John has been practicing meditation for 30 years
- Meditation helps people realize they can control their thoughts and emotions