Writing Your Bucket List, Bad Bosses & Partner Therapy | The Jordan Harbinger Show

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Key Takeaways

  • When engaged in long-term life planning, make a huge list of things you’d like to do, then order it by priority –your priorities
  • One key to a successful relationship is understanding each other’s issues even if it means going to therapy together
  • If you have a boss who thinks the only way to solve problems is his way, don’t ask him anything important
  • Try and confront a passive-aggressive co-worker privately to understand why they behave the way they do – if that fails, document situations, then go to your boss
  • Avoid yes-no questions when dealing with engineers who aren’t good communicators
  • If you’re creating some sort of proprietary tech you want to roll out independently , get legal counsel – you don’t want to get sued by your company for something you created on your own time
  • Giving blood is a qualified reason to leave your house even if you’re under a shelter-in-place order – so do something good and give blood!

Intro

Jordan Harbinger (@JordanHarbinger) is the host of The Jordan Harbinger Show podcast, a voice actor, journalist, lawyer and businessman

Jason DeFillippo (@jpdef) is producer and editor for The Jordan Harbinger Show podcast and co-host of the Grumpy Old Geeks Podcast

Q: If you don’t know when your time is up (most people), how do you live your life?

  • If you’re the kind of person who wants to spend a year on the beach or looking at architecture in Italy, great, go for it.
  • But if you need some fulfillment to feel like you’re living, you might get bored
    • Try to get a degree and start a career 
  • Don’t put up with crap from a bad boss or force yourself into schooling if you hate it
  • Make a huge list of things you’d like to do: in work, life, career, and travel
    • Then order it by priority –your priorities

Q: How to encourage someone to make a business out of a hobby?

  • If the problem is lack of confidence, have them build their confidence through taking a class
    • E.g. Try Skillshare 
  • Some people like to keep their hobby a hobby and feel that turning it into a business would add pressure and ruin it
  • Let the person build their skillset without pressure until they get better at it
  • Have them try a few one-off commissions to see how enjoyable it is to do what they enjoy and earn while doing it

Q: Your side hustle is related to your main job – can you leverage your paid time to work on things that benefit you personally?

  • Yes, because “sharpening the saw” benefits both your company and your projects
  • But you have to be careful not to “cross streams”- you can be sued especially if you’re a full-time employee
  • If you’re creating some sort of proprietary tech that you want to roll out on your own, get legal counsel – you don’t want to get sued because you created something on the weekend

Q:  When your significant other has had a traumatic childhood and shares dark thoughts with you, how can you be supportive?

  • Ask them to go to therapy with you: “I need you to come and help me with my stuff.”
  • Make it be about your partner helping you
  • Be genuine- his/her issues are affecting you
  • One key to a successful relationship is understanding each other’s issues
  • You might have to go alone initially and build a relationship with the therapist first

Q: How do you handle a boss who lacks emotional intelligence and thinks the only way to solve problems is his way?

  • Learn the lesson: don’t ask this guy anything important
  • Avoid asking for any real advice
  • The only reason to ask for input will be to make him feel important and strengthen your relationship

Q:  How to deal with engineers who can’t communicate effectively?

  • If binary questions aren’t working, stop asking yes-no questions
  • Try asking questions in a way that require someone to verbalize their thought process, so you can hear how they got to the final result 
  • Then confirm the result by repeating back the general idea
  • This process makes the engineer feel good and the customer (if there is one) reassured
  • “Engineers are trained to say no because we get so many dumb questions all the time” –Jason DeFilippo

Q:  How to diffuse the tension between yourself and a passive-aggressive coworker?

  • 1. See if others have noticed the co-worker’s behavior – without being gossipy or dramatic
  • 2. Try direct confrontation – in private!
    • Keep it calm
    • This is not head-to-head battle
    • You’re trying to get information on what the issue might be
    • You’re not trying to get an apology
  • If that fails, document situations, then go to your boss
  • If other people have trouble with the coworker, it’s a big indicator that the coworker is the problem
  • “There’s no legitimate reason in an office environment for the cold shoulder or silent treatment – they’re a cancer in the workplace. These people don’t get better over time.” – Jason Harbinger

Life Pro Tip

  • Giving blood is  a qualified reason to leave your house even if you’re under a shelter-in-place order
  • So, if you need to get out, do something good and give blood!

Anti-Recommendation for the Week

  • 100 Humans- on Netflix, a fun watch filled with junk science and biased politics
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Notes By EWerbitsky

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