April 10, 2020

Writing Your Bucket List, Bad Bosses & Partner Therapy | The Jordan Harbinger Show

When engaged in long-term life planning, make a huge list of things you’d like to do, then order it by priority –your priorities
One key to a successful relationship is understanding each other’s issues even if it means going to therapy together
If you have a boss who thinks the only way to solve problems is his way, don’t ask him anything important
Try and confront a passive-aggressive co-worker privately to understand why they behave the way they do – if that fails, document situations, then go to your boss
Avoid yes-no questions when dealing with engineers who aren’t good communicators
If you’re creating some sort of proprietary tech you want to roll out independently , get legal counsel – you don’t want to get sued by your company for something you created on your own time
Giving blood is a qualified reason to leave your house even if you’re under a shelter-in-place order – so do something good and give blood!

Jordan Harbinger (@JordanHarbinger) is the host of The Jordan Harbinger Show podcast, a voice actor, journalist, lawyer and businessman

Jason DeFillippo (@jpdef) is producer and editor for The Jordan Harbinger Show podcast and co-host of the Grumpy Old Geeks Podcast

If you’re the kind of person who wants to spend a year on the beach or looking at architecture in Italy, great, go for it.
But if you need some fulfillment to feel like you’re living, you might get bored
- Try to get a degree and start a career
Don’t put up with crap from a bad boss or force yourself into schooling if you hate it
Make a huge list of things you’d like to do: in work, life, career, and travel
- Then order it by priority –your priorities

If the problem is lack of confidence, have them build their confidence through taking a class
- E.g. Try Skillshare
Some people like to keep their hobby a hobby and feel that turning it into a business would add pressure and ruin it
Let the person build their skillset without pressure until they get better at it
Have them try a few one-off commissions to see how enjoyable it is to do what they enjoy and earn while doing it

Yes, because “sharpening the saw” benefits both your company and your projects
But you have to be careful not to “cross streams”- you can be sued especially if you’re a full-time employee
If you’re creating some sort of proprietary tech that you want to roll out on your own, get legal counsel – you don’t want to get sued because you created something on the weekend

Ask them to go to therapy with you: “I need you to come and help me with my stuff.”
Make it be about your partner helping you
Be genuine- his/her issues are affecting you
One key to a successful relationship is understanding each other’s issues
You might have to go alone initially and build a relationship with the therapist first

Learn the lesson: don’t ask this guy anything important
Avoid asking for any real advice
The only reason to ask for input will be to make him feel important and strengthen your relationship

If binary questions aren’t working, stop asking yes-no questions
Try asking questions in a way that require someone to verbalize their thought process, so you can hear how they got to the final result
Then confirm the result by repeating back the general idea
This process makes the engineer feel good and the customer (if there is one) reassured
“Engineers are trained to say no because we get so many dumb questions all the time” –Jason DeFilippo

1. See if others have noticed the co-worker’s behavior – without being gossipy or dramatic
2. Try direct confrontation – in private!
- Keep it calm
- This is not head-to-head battle
- You’re trying to get information on what the issue might be
- You’re not trying to get an apology
If that fails, document situations, then go to your boss
If other people have trouble with the coworker, it’s a big indicator that the coworker is the problem
“There’s no legitimate reason in an office environment for the cold shoulder or silent treatment – they’re a cancer in the workplace. These people don’t get better over time.” – Jason Harbinger

Giving blood is a qualified reason to leave your house even if you’re under a shelter-in-place order
So, if you need to get out, do something good and give blood!

100 Humans- on Netflix, a fun watch filled with junk science and biased politics

behavior, life, relationships
Notes By EWerbitsky