Porn, Monogamy, Creepy Bill Cosby Stories, and More – Bill Maher on The Joe Rogan Experience

Key Takeaways

  • People used to be much rougher; kids today are coddled 
  • Unlimited access to porn is causing adverse side effects in kids
  • Humans aren’t wired for monogamy 
  • The fact that life has never been easier (and safer) is probably leading to the “outrage epidemic”
  • “It’s a horrible hallmark of our era that we live in that facts almost always come second; your political agenda comes first. And if a fact doesn’t fit in with our political agenda, then we don’t want to hear it. And that’s true for both the left and the right.” – Bill Maher
  • No healthcare system will work until people take responsibility for their health
  • “We’ve gone to this place where we’re proud of being unhealthy… Being fat is no longer bad. What’s bad is someone pointing out that fat is bad.”Bill Maher

Books Mentioned

Intro

Does Bill Feel Constrained By the 1-Hour Time Limit for His Show ‘Real Time’?

  • Sometimes:
    • “I do like being forced to condense things. I always think of the person watching my show as the person who’s interested in current events, but doesn’t have the time to follow them during the week … It’s my job to entertain them, but also to point out what’s important … There’s something to be said for condensing; there’s also a lot to be said for letting the conversation breathe. Letting it breathe —I do miss that sometimes. Very often, we’re in the middle of a discussion, and I have to move on.” – Bill Maher
  • A related comment: “I don’t get America—peoples’ attention span is either 7 seconds or 3 hours. There’s no in-between.”Bill Maher

Bill Wouldn’t Have Finished True Story, His Stand-Up Comedy Novel, Without Cocaine

  • “I bought that book way back in the day. It was a great book—a very underrated book on stand-up comedy.” – Joe Rogan
  • “I worked harder on that than almost anything I’ve ever done —to make every paragraph funny or telling with no extra words … But I probably wouldn’t have finished it without cocaine.” Bill Maher
    • “Cocaine helps you write. It’s a productivity drug. It was never a drug that I liked because I wasn’t social on it, but I used to like to have sex on it (and write). Most men didn’t. I didn’t want to talk … I was never that guy that did coke and talked a blue streak, but it helped me concentrate.” 
      • That said, Bill absolutely cannot recommend it – cocaine only leaves you to dark places (one reason why Joe’s never done it)

Bill Has Watching ADD

  • “People binge. I don’t binge—I never binged anything. I have the opposite problem; I have watching ADD. I love to watch TV—it’s the last thing I do before I sleep at night, but unless something is absolutely compelling, I don’t watch more than 15 minutes of it. I’ll watch 15 minutes of this, and then 15 minutes of that, and 15 minutes of something else, and then go to sleep.” – Bill Maher

Creepy Bill Cosby Stories

  • Bill never thought Bill Cosby was funny
  • “Somebody told me he was a creep back in 1983” – Bill Maher
    • (Somebody told Joe back in 1994 that he frequently drugged girls)
  • Bill Cosby did some weird things out of a sick need for control, like:
    • Making his staff come into his dressing room and watch him eat curry
    • Forcing a member of his team “order a hamburger, scoop out the doughy part of the hamburger bun after they washed their hands, and then put it back on the hamburger”
    • Having staff members send his leftover dressing room soap to his house
    • Making security guards at hotels tuck him into bed

Pot Killed Bill’s Memory

  • “I gave up on memorization years ago. First of all, with all of the pot I’ve smoked, it just wasn’t going to happen. I’ve used what I call the poor man’s teleprompter for 20 years; I have a music stand on stage, and then on that, I have my notebook, which has bullet points.” – Bill Maher
    • Then, when Bill gets home from his gigs, he logs his notes on the computer
    • “This process has been the greatest thing because it allows me to get to exactly what I want to say. I hate comics who stand up there and say, ‘What else?’ ‘F**k that. You should know what else. Never hear me say, ‘What else?’ I know what else, and I’m going to tell you.”

People Used To Be Much Rougher; Kids Today Are Coddled

  • “I think kids are coddled. I think they’re indulged, and that’s the reason why they freak out over micro-aggressions.” Bill Maher
  • Growing up in New Jersey in the 60s, Bill recalls:
    • There being no racial or drug issues
      • “I didn’t try pot in high school… That wasn’t even a thing.” – Bill Maher
    • There being hardly any divorce
    • Getting cavities fixed multiple times without Novocaine (and he had to get to the dentist on his bike!)
  • Jonathan Haidt’s The Coddling of the American Mind talks more about this
    • Jonathan believes you should “let your kids roam around and find their way home,” similar to how both Joe and Bill were raised

Kids Have Unlimited Access to Porn with Smartphones; What Are the Side Effects?

  • Porn is quite grotesque
    • “It’s a lot of things I’m not interested in, even in my fantasies … I don’t want to choke anybody; I don’t want to come on your face. I mean, come on —coming on your face? … I find that off-putting and gross, but that’s half of what Pornhub is … Ass f**king, choking, come on your face, spitting —it’s gross.” – Bill Maher
    • “I’m not surprised that kids have mental problems. What’s a real first date like when you saw a team of Japanese businessmen come on some school girl’s face when you were 10?”Bill Maher
  • “What I would tell a kid, especially a boy, is, ‘Son, what you’re seeing in porn, don’t think women really like that, because they don’t. They don’t want to have somebody come on their face.” – Bill Maher
  • Fact: The vast majority of porn stars have either been molested, sexually abused, or physically abused.
  • 🎧 With the internet, there’s a place for every sexual kink (even if you get off to hookers shitting on you while you play with electric trains).

Humans Aren’t Wired for Monogamy

  • Several books discuss this idea:
  • “There’s no monogamous primates. They’ve never found one, and we’re primates.” – Joe Rogan
    • Way back, humans probably had a system closer to that of chimps, similar to “communal fatherdom,” where people didn’t know which kid belonged to which man
  • “So much of love is, I think, possessiveness—what people think is love. It’s not love … Love is selflessness. It’s when I care for your happiness more than my own—that’s love.” – Bill Maher

🎧 Life Has Never Been Safer; Is This Causing the Outrage Epidemic?

  • “If you read Steven Pinker‘s stuff, he talks about how life has never really been easier than we have it today. But, this is probably one of the reasons why people are so outraged about things today. There’s less ‘real shit’ that’s dangerous in this world. There’s still real dangers, real murderers, real rape, and real robberies, but there’s less of it than ever before, and yet, there’s more outraged than ever before about nonsense things.” Joe Rogan
  • “When societies get too successful—and you could make that claim about America—that’s when they become effete, that’s when they become soft, and that’s when they fall. This is a story that goes back to ancient Rome and lots of other societies. You’re a victim of your success. In a big way, we’re that.” – Bill Maher

People Deny Facts in Favor of Their Political Agenda

  • “It’s a horrible hallmark of our era that we live in that facts almost always come second; your political agenda comes first. And if a fact doesn’t fit in with our political agenda, then we don’t want to hear it. And that’s true for both the left and the right.”Bill Maher
  • “If there’s a real problem with communication in this society, one of them is the denial of actual facts and information. If we know things and have rock-solid statistics—whether it’s about climate change, war, the budget, or whatever the f**k it is—if you have a real number, and you want to spin and deny it, that’s a giant problem.” – Joe Rogan
  • The state of affairs: No one judges you based on the content of what you say anymore; they judge based on whose team you’re on

Divorce Law is a Scam in Favor of Women

  • Here’s why: Divorce lawyers make more money the larger the settlement is
    • “The reason why the divorce laws are set up the way they’re set up: people think, ‘Oh, we’re protecting women.’ Horsesh*t. They’re doing it so they can extract the maximum amount of money out of the male. That way, the lawyers get the biggest chunk that they could possibly get.” – Joe Rogan
    • To boot: A lot of men pay for their wife’s divorce lawyer, which Bill says is like “paying for someone to f**k you in the ass”
  • And sadly, tons of men in show business are stuck with alimony contracts they can’t afford, based on past income that they no longer make
  • This quote’s too good to leave out:
    • “People, unfortunately, get a horrible disease like cancer and say, ‘I couldn’t have gotten through it without my wife.’ I always think, ‘Yeah, and maybe she gave it to you.’ … The stress from a bad relationship, I’m sure, is one contributor to cancer.” – Bill Maher

No Health Care System Will Work Until People Take Responsibility for Their Health

  • “Nobody’s healthcare system is going to work unless people have skin in the game” – Bill Maher
    • You can’t expect the government to front the bill if you’re eating as much shitty food as you want
  • “We’ve gone to this place where we’re proud of being unhealthy… Being fat is no longer bad. What’s bad is someone pointing out that fat is bad.” Bill Maher
    • Stat: 40,000 people a month die from obesity
    • “We have to reverse the idea in this country—and not just with obesity—that ‘I’m perfect the way I am, and if you say different, you’re a bad person.’ That’s not a good place to be.”
      • This mindset certainly protects peoples’ emotions but shields them from the possible realization that they’re eating themselves to death
    • “There’s literally nothing about your health that’s improved by being overweight.”
  • It’s undoubtedly valid that it’s hard to eat healthy on a budget, but it’s FAR from impossible
    • “Something you never need to have with your food is soda … You don’t have to have soda. You don’t have to eat Snickers bar. A banana’s 19 cents, so it’s not impossible. – Bill Maher

Let’s Talk Social Media

  • “So many people are saying things on social media not because they really believe it, but to get the likes. That’s really scary.” Bill Maher
    • And this obsessive need for likes is an ADDICTION
  • The permanent nature of social media content is ruining lives
    • “We’re so lucky we weren’t held up to the standards kids are today. Everything they do today that they put online is permanent. I can’t imagine something I said when I was 14 being permanent.” – Joe Rogan
    • “There’s no ‘just talk’ anymore, but we’re wired for ‘just talk.’ We’re wired for gossip and nonsense talk, especially when you’re drinking, but if you’re drinking and happen to get on Twitter, you could say something that might ruin your life.” – Joe Rogan
  • Neither Joe or Bill read their Twitter mentions – they’re too depressing

Inconsistency with the #MeToo Movement

  • Think about it: Charlie Sheen starred in a Super Bowl commercial last year (and he did WAY worse things that Louis C.K., who’s still on blast)
  • “We need some sort of #MeToo court” Bill Maher
    • Is everything a life sentence? Is the “felon” a horrible person forever?
    • What’s the proper punishment? Who should decide it?

Additional Notes

  • “When you look at the government and what their big successes have amounted to, it’s passing out money (that they very often don’t have). That’s what they’re really good at.” – Bill Maher
  • Neither Joe or Bill prepared for this conversation (at all)
  • Bill loves performing in the south because of how friendly residents are
  • “I never understood the concept of marriage… Why would I invite the federal and state government into my love life?” Bill Maher
  • Some countries have marriage “term limits”
    • After a set time period, both parties have the option to walk away