November 3, 2020

13 Things Mentally Strong People Do When Their Candidate Loses | Amy Morin on The James Altucher Show

Check out The James Altucher Show Episode Page & Show Notes

Key Takeaways

• The #1 thing that people are talking to their therapists about is political stress:
  • “They’re reaching out and getting help because they’re so stressed out about the election” – Amy Morin
• “Everyone wants you to vote as long as they’re voting on your side” – Amy Morin
  • Whoever wins the election, about 80 million Americans will be disappointed with the outcome
• 13 Things Mentally Strong People Do When Their Candidate Loses:
  • 1) They Accept The Outcome
  • 2) They Name Their Feelings
  • 3) They Look At The Facts
  • 4) They Argue The Opposite When Thinking Of Doom And Gloom 
  • 5) They Limit Their Media
  • 6) They Stop Commiserating
  • 7) They Focus On What They Can Control
  • 8) They Resist The Urge To Argue On Social Media
  • 9) They Reach For Healthy Coping Skills
  • 10) They Take Care Of Themselves
  • 11) They Change The Channel In Their Brain
  • 12) They Schedule Time To Worry
  • 13) They Take Positive Action
• The size of your advance in the book industry is related to 2 things:
  • How well your last book sold
  • Your social media follower count

Intro

• Amy Morin (@AmyMorinLCSW) is a psychotherapist, mental strength trainer, and international bestselling author. She’s a highly sought after keynote speaker who gave one of the most popular TEDx talks of all time.
  • Amy is the author of:
    • 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do 
    • 13 Things Mentally Strong Women Don’t Do
    • 13 Things Mentally Strong Parents Don’t Do
• Host: James Altucher (@jaltucher)

Books Mentioned

• Amy’s new book is directed towards kids and is called 13 Things Strong Kids Do

13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do

• Here are the 13 original tips from Amy’s book 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do:
  • 1) They Don’t Waste Time Feeling Sorry for Themselves
  • 2) They Don’t Give Away Their Power
  • 3) They Don’t Shy Away from Change
  • 4) They Don’t Waste Energy on Things They Can’t Control
  • 5) They Don’t Worry About Pleasing Everyone
  • 6) They Don’t Fear Taking Calculated Risks
  • 7) They Don’t Dwell on the Past
  • 8) They Don’t Make the Same Mistakes Over and Over
  • 9) They Don’t Resent Other People’s Success
  • 10) They Don’t Give Up After the First Failure
  • 11) They Don’t Fear Alone Time
  • 12) They Don’t Feel the World Owes Them Anything
  • 13) They Don’t Expect Immediate Results

Talking About Presidential Elections

• The #1 thing that people are talking to their therapists about is political stress:
  • “They’re reaching out and getting help because they’re so stressed out about the election” – Amy Morin
• James has never voted in a presidential election because he likes to say neutral as a writer, podcaster, and someone who has a large audience 
  • “I think you need to be respectfully neutral to do that” – James Altucher
• “Everyone wants you to vote as long as they’re voting on your side” – Amy Morin
  • Whoever wins the election, about 80 million Americans will be disappointed with the outcome
• Whoever wins the 2020 election, keep in mind that the world will go on
  • The US has survived, depressions, recessions, world wars, and more. We can survive an election.
• People think every election is the most important election ever. Here’s a quote from a newspaper James found talking about the 1892 election:
  • “This is surely the most important election held in America”
    • Here’s a quote from the 1940 election:
      • “This is the most important election since 1860”

13 Things Mentally Strong People Do When Their Candidate Loses

• 1) They Accept The Outcome
  • No matter who wins, a mentally strong person will accept the outcome and move on with their lives
  • You can throw a pity party and wish things were different, but that’s a waste of time and doesn’t do you any good
• 2) They Name Their Feelings
  • Many studies have shown that if you label your feelings, it takes the sting out of it:
    • “Just putting a label to those emotions reduces the intensity of them, you start to feel better almost instantly” – Amy Morin
• 3) They Look At The Facts
  • Take a step back to look at what’s true what’s not
• 4) They Argue The Opposite When Thinking Of Doom And Gloom 
  • If you think the economy will crash if your presidential candidate doesn’t win, argue the opposite
  • Just because things will be different, it doesn’t mean things will be worse
• 5) They Limit Their Media
  • No one, not even the media, knows exactly what the future holds
  • Studies show that watching the evening news can elevate your stress levels
  • Limit your media time to 30 minutes
• 6) They Stop Commiserating
  • Commiserating, or complaining to others, makes you feel worse and makes the world seem more gloomy
  • There’s a big difference between emotional support and commiserating
  • “It’s not really all that healthy for us to just sit around and talk about how horrible life is” – Amy Morin
• 7) They Focus On What They Can Control
  • You can’t control the outcome of the election but you can control your diet, who you spend time with, how much sleep you get, etc.
  • The more we worry about things we can’t control, the more anxious we become
• 8) They Resist The Urge To Argue On Social Media
  • People aren’t going to change who they’re going to vote for over a stranger’s opinion on social media
  • “You’re not changing anyone’s opinion. You’re just wasting your time and your energy.” – Amy Morin
• 9) They Reach For Healthy Coping Skills
  • Have a strategy to handle anxiety, fear, etc.
  • Avoid reaching for alcohol or sweets
  • Try doing yoga, spending time with loved ones, or other healthy ways of coping
• 10) They Take Care Of Themselves
  • Get 8 hours of sleep, exercise daily, and eat healthily
• 11) They Change The Channel In Their Brain
  • Recognize when you’re dwelling on the negative or ruminating on a problem instead of trying to solve it 
  • If you find yourself focusing on something negative, get up and go do something different (cleaning your room, go for a walk, call a friend to catch up, etc.)
• 12) They Schedule Time To Worry
  • Give yourself 15 minutes to worry every day. With practice, people can contain their worrying to just 15 minutes a day.
  • It’s okay to spend time worrying, the key, however, is to be able to contain it
• 13) They Take Positive Action
  • Do something kind and positive for someone 
    • Be kind to your neighbor
    • Send a thank you letter to a friend
    • Do some community service
    • Make your partner laugh

Additional Notes

• It’s normal for people to have multiple sides of themselves
  • You don’t talk to your grandmother the same way you talk to your college friends
• If you’re a content creator, you need to be on social media
• The size of your advance in the book industry is related to 2 things:
  • How well your last book sold
  • Your social media follower count

James Altucher Show : mental health, mental toughness, politics, president, psychology, therapy
Notes By Alex Wiec