kapil gupta 33voices

The Single Biggest Barrier to Self-Improvement – The 33voices Dialogue

Check out The 33voices Dialogue Episode Page & Show Notes

Key Takeaways

  • To become great, you must overcome the barrier of being conditioned by society
  • Every relationship in your life will bring you more pain than pleasure
  • It’s about the arrival, not the journey
    • “If you’re not going to arrive, why leave the house?”
  • Happiness is an empty chase
    • “Every chase for pleasure is actually a chase for pain”
  • Realize: “All the 27,000 events that have happened to you have either been negative, caused pain, or caused short-lived pleasure. NOTHING has lasted.”
    • “The person who naturally comes to these realizations will organically find his feet moving in a different direction”
  • “Life is fundamentally suffering. Buddha was right.”
    • The only way out of this is to abandon all chases for happiness (but you can’t do it prescriptively, it has to be organic)
  • The greatest barrier to self-improvement is the idea of self-improvement itself
  • Marketing is a scam
    • “If you have something truly valuable, you won’t have to resort to trying to convince someone to buy it”

Intro

Where does confidence come from?

  • “Confidence has to be in the source from which things arise, not from the results that one gets”
  • Confidence comes from knowing you can always access what you need to access when you need it (as opposed to the feeling that you’ll always “have it”)

We All Get What We Want

  • “We all get exactly what we want. If something is acceptable to us, that’s what we receive. That which is not acceptable to us, we don’t get because we do whatever we have to do to not live in that space.”

What does it take for someone to determine they’re worthy of winning a world championship?

  • “There has to be an internal knowing that it’s possible for you. Not motivation, but that you’re somehow worthy of it. Not because you worked hard, but just because. That HAS to be there.”
    • VERY, VERY few athletes feel this way – “Only a minute fraction”
    • And you can’t teach this (especially not to the masses)
    • “Greatness arises from an internal, undeniable knowing that one belongs there”
      • It’s the same as knowing that every night the moon will come out and every morning the sun will rise

Can people learn to be great?

  • If they have the DNA for greatness and the receptivity to learn the truth, then sure
    • But if someone doesn’t have that DNA – no
  • We all have the seed for greatness within, but…
    • “That is theoretical for 99.999% of people in the world. That is real to the remaining 26.”

Divorce Yourself from the Culture

  • If the above mentioned 26 people wish to preserve the DNA which allows them to be great, they should completely divorce themselves from the culture
    • “Those 26, likely perhaps possibly, already have had inklings over the years that the people who surround them… the culture, the coaching, the institutions … all of the information that surrounds them in their particular profession… is nonsense. However, they’ve never been given the permission to completely set it all aside and have it confirmed for them that their suspicions are correct.”
      • “The 26 often live inside a purgatory. They know they’re great or going to be great, but their greatness is limited by the anchors placed on them by the culture which surrounds them which is ALWAYS wrong.”
  • Where does this permission come from?
    • Either yourself or from another
    • “The more someone gives himself permission to divorce himself from the norms and the culture, the more he will give credence to the voices inside of him as opposed to those outside him”

Truth Receptors

  • “We as human beings have within us certain receptors for truth and our mind does not understand it oftentimes, but our feelings do”
    • It’s very often the case that if you hear something of truth, you won’t be able to explain it, but you’ll FEEL it

Keep an Eye Out for the Truth Speaker

  • “If there’s something I’m interested in, I’m looking for the person who’s the truth speaker of that field”
  • “When you read an article, you know if it’s coming at you from an angle or not. I can tell within the first paragraph if someone has an angle.”
    • As long as someone wants to convince you of something… it’s usually false
  • “Truth comes about when someone just discusses something”
    • They come at the issue from a point of view similar to: “This is the way it is. I don’t need you to believe me and I don’t even really want you to believe me.”
  • “The desire to convince is the greatest marker of fraudulence”

Man’s Greatest Pain Comes in the Form of Relationships

  • ALL relationships are based on a need needing to be fulfilled or an exchange
    • For this reason, they’re all disingenuous
  • “Every relationship in your life will bring you more pain than pleasure, every single one”

Screw the Journey

  • “The greatest outcomes are the ones that last and the ones that last are the ones that are natural. The ones that last are the ones that come about as a natural effect of a cause; they’re organic. ‘Organicness’ requires a lack of volition… a lack of a particular plan or ulterior motive.”
    • Dive into the truth and whatever happens, happens
  • It’s about ARRIVAL, not the journey
    • “Human beings are procrastinators. They celebrate all sorts of things that have to do with not getting anywhere.”
    • “This stupid nonsense that everyone falls into… it’s never about the journey. That just sounds very nice. The only reason it’s being said is because people get too caught up in the result and then the reaction to that is trying to work on the process.”
  • And at the end of the day – “If you’re not going to arrive, why leave the house?”

The Truth About Happiness

  • “It’s an empty chase. No one can be happy all the time because happiness is this idea that things around you are going well and congruent with the way you’d like them to be; life has a way of spoiling our plans on a regular basis.”
  • “The word ‘happiness’ is a mythological term… It isn’t sustainable, it’s too pleasurable. Every chance for pleasure is actually a chase for pain.”
  • “I don’t think people are searching for happiness, people are searching for anti-misery”
    • If there was no sadness, disappointment, failure, or unhappiness, people wouldn’t look twice at happiness

Life is Suffering

  • “Life is fundamentally suffering. Buddha was right.”
    • The only way out of this is to abandon all chases for happiness (but you can’t do it prescriptively, it has to be organic)
  • You need to realize:
    • “All the 27,000 events that have happened to you have either been negative, caused pain, or caused short-lived pleasure. NOTHING has lasted.”
      • All pleasure leaves you constantly seeking more pleasure
      • “The person who naturally comes to these realizations will organically find his feet moving in a different direction”

The Greatest Barrier to Self-Improvement…

  • … Is the idea of self-improvement itself
    • (AKA – The idea that you can take certain points and ideas and implement them into your life)
      • Imbibing the above causes you to listen to and read content with a “self-improvement” lens, if you will
  • “Wherever there is a barrier in the form of seeking a how-to, wherever there is a desire to practice something, that leads one further and further into bondage.”
    • It’s just a prescription that replaces all the other prescriptions that haven’t gotten you anywhere
  • You can’t just “decide” to drop the act of listening to prescriptions
    • If someone places a pile of mud in your hand, you don’t have to be told to drop it. The reason you drop it is because it’s mud. 
      • “Things automatically get dropped when they no longer serve a useful purpose.”

Marketing is a Scam

  • “The ultimate marketing comes from not wanting to sell at all”
    • It’s about recognizing that the thing you’re selling is invaluable and placing any price at all on it is an insult
    • Any attempt to sell with an ulterior motive sabotages the selling
  • “All marketing is a scam because the people doing it are doing it for the sole purpose of selling”
  • “If you have something truly valuable, you won’t have to resort to trying to convince someone to buy it”

The Most Critical Element of Greatness

  • 99.99% of people are tainted and conditioned by the traditional norms
    • CEOs, entrepreneurs, average Joes… they’re all poisoned by the culture
      • “It’s in their blood, it’s in their speech, it’s in the cadence of their language, it’s in everything! … The perspective from which they speak is not even their own words, it’s what society has given them.”
  • “The number one most important and most critical element of greatness in anything is to overcome the barrier of being conditioned by society. It is to divorce yourself from society and understand that EVERYTHING your culture says is complete trash; it’s nonsense.”

Wrapping Up

  • “Very few people truly want to be great. Those who do find a way to get there.”
33voices Dialogue : , , , , , ,
Notes By MMiller

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