Tim McGraw: Big Change Starts with a Small Step | Managing Negative Self-Talk, the Importance of Exercise, and the Value of Time – Aubrey Marcus Podcast #233

Check out the Aubrey Marcus Podcast Episode Page & Show Notes

Key Takeaways

  • When it comes to music, or really any artful activity, if you’re thinking about what to do next, you’re going to make a mistake. However, if you’re present and in the moment, that’s when things flow smoothly.
  • When you beat yourself up, no one hears that negative self-talk but you – all you’re doing is creating a circle of darkness around yourself that bleeds out to everyone else!
  • “If you don’t put some effort, time, care, and grace into yourself, then you aren’t going to be able to give it to anyone else”Tim McGraw
  • Surround yourself with people who push you to excel
  • “A consistent physical routine… I think that’s one of the ways that you can challenge yourself to be prepared when life throws you a gut punch.” Tim McGraw
  • A good question to reflect on: If today was your last day on Earth, would you be okay with that?

Intro

  • Tim McGraw (@TheTimMcGraw) is an American country singer and actor
    • Tim has released fifteen studio albums, ten of those reaching number one on the top country albums charts
  • Host – Aubrey Marcus (@AubreyMarcus)

Books Mentioned

Positive Outlets

  • Tim and Aubrey are both huge fans of spearfishing – they love how it gets them into a state of flow
    • “It’s one of the greatest things I’ve ever discovered” – Tim McGraw
  • Tim grew up in a dysfunctional household and turned to sports, school, and music as a positive outlet
  • When it comes to music, or really any artful activity, if you’re thinking about what to do next, you’re going to make a mistake. However, if you’re present and in the moment, that’s when things flow smoothly.
    • Tim says his best shows are when he feels like he’s fully present with the crowd
      • Aubrey says the same thing about playing sports: “When I was having fun, I was playing my best” 

Managing Negative Self-Talk

  • A great life tip: “Change the inner conversation you have with yourself”  Tim McGraw
    • “Beating yourself up over things will get you nowhereCarry that trash out as much as you can, move forward, and try to make the next day the best day.”
  • “I was an asshole to myself for most of my life and still have those tendencies” Aubrey Marcus  
    • Instead of beating yourself up for the rest of your life, give yourself an honest heartfelt apology, and move forward
  • “The energy you create for yourself directly relates to the energy you create for other people, as well as the energy you receive from other people” – Tim McGraw 
  • When you beat yourself up, no one hears that negative self-talk but you – all you’re doing is creating a circle of darkness around yourself that bleeds out to everyone else!

Parenting Advice

  • Every parent wants to teach their child all of life’s important lessons, but no child wants to constantly be lectured
  • The best thing a parent can do is to be like the gutter guards in a bowling lane, and make sure their child doesn’t go too far in one direction (but sometimes, it’s necessary to take those guards down)
    • “Let them throw some gutter balls… It’s the toughest thing in the world, but sometimes you can handicap your kids by not doing that.” – Tim McGraw
  • There’s no handbook that comes with parenting. If you’re doing things 40% right of the time, even that’s pretty good!

Getting Back On Track

  • At one time in his life, Tim experienced the passing of several close friends/family members and started to self-medicate to deal with the pain
    • This caused him to gain a ton of weight
      • One day his daughter looked at him and asked what was going on – that comment made Tim realize he had to get his life back on track
        • “I want to be here and see what these kids make out of there lives, see what they become and who they become… I want to be around for my grandkids”Tim McGraw
  • Tim then set a goal of walking 15-20 minutes a day to get back in shape
    • Then, he got into running and lifting 
  • The oxygen-mask theory: Before you can help others, you must first help yourself
    • On every airplane, the flight crew always tells you that in the event of an emergency, you should put your oxygen mask on first before helping others
      • “If you don’t put some effort, time, care, and grace into yourself, then you aren’t going to be able to give it to anyone else”Tim McGraw

The Importance Of Exercise

  • Just as athletes practice to prepare for games, people need to practice to prepare for life. One of the best ways to do so is through physical exercise.
    • “A consistent physical routine… I think that’s one of the ways that you can challenge yourself to be prepared when life throws you a gut punch.” Tim McGraw
      • Preparing yourself physically also helps you prepare mentally
    • You can’t practice the pressure of something like a lawsuit, but you can practice taking a cold plunge or doing an extreme workout

Hard Life Truths

  • “Big life battles are hard, if not impossible, to do alone” – Tim McGraw
  • It’s important to get the people who are holding you back out of your life
    • But: “It’s hard to do because there’s a lot of love for some of those people”Tim McGraw
      • This gets even harder if the people holding you back are family members. If that’s the case, you MUST set boundaries with them.
  • “You can’t operate and you can’t be successful without a foundation of truth about what you’re doing for a living” – Tim McGraw
    • “You have to encourage people to always tell the truth and go overboard even when you don’t like it” Aubrey Marcus
      • Praise the contrary opinion!
      • If you don’t thank people for telling you the cold hard truth, you’ll snuff it out and end up surrounded by yes men
  • Surround yourself with people that push you to become better
    • Don’t surround yourself with people who just want to sit on a couch, eat Cheetos, and play video games all-day 
    • “I want to surround myself with people who are going to push me to excel at whatever I do” Tim McGraw
  • Find something that you love and gives you discipline
    • “People think that discipline puts you in a cage. I found just the opposite, that the more discipline you have about things, the more your cage is open, the more freedom you have, and the more things that you can discover.” Tim McGraw

The Sands of Time

  • “Time is all we have” Tim McGraw
    • The reason most people work is to buy free time to enjoy life
      • However, you should aim to enjoy the work that you do, and not just suffer through it until you have enough money to retire
  • Time with your kids is precious – don’t take it for granted
    • Once your kids are grown up, things will never be the sam
  • A good question to reflect on: If today was your last day on Earth, would you be okay with that?
    • An interesting saying from Lakota culture that Aubrey tries to remember: “Let’s go, today is a good day to die”
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