Kapil Gupta & Moe Abdou: The Ghost of Self-Image – The 33voices Dialogue

Check out The33voices Dialogue Episode Page & Show Notes

Key Takeaways (5 Kapil Gupta Quotes to Ponder)

  • “What you will become is who you believe yourself to be. What you will become is who you CANNOT stop yourself from becoming. What you will achieve are the things you CANNOT help from achieving. What you will accomplish are the things you CANNOT live without accomplishing.” 
  • “A person who is conscious of his self is a person who will always have insecurities about that self. A person is at his best when he isn’t aware of himself.” 
  • “The search for happiness and pleasure is the most FRUITLESS search of a human life, and is the single most critical reason why a human being lives in suffering.” 
  • “It’s genuinely about seeing the emptiness of all things and that nothing has any significance… The ultimate truth is that there is nothing. There’s no greater truth than that.” 
  • “Everything operates according to its own rhythm. Everything operates according to its own cause and effect. Any attempt to interrupt that rhythm or modify the effect that was naturally occurring by a particular cause is a road to suffering, pain, anxiety, and failure.” 

Intro

The Truth About Professional Sports

  • “I don’t think it’s about winning and losing. On some level, everything is an individual sport.” – Kapil Gupta
    • It may look like a team from the outside, but inside the human being, it’s all individual
  • “And at the end of the day, what’s a professional sport’s team? It’s a hot dog sale… It’s all entertainment.” – Kapil Gupta

How to Become the Best in the World at What You Do

  • Ask yourself: “What is it that’s preventing me from being world-class?
    • “It’s not about looking for what it is that one needs. It’s much more about looking at the barriers.” Kapil Gupta
    • It’s that simple – You know the EXACT things that are preventing you, EXAMINE them
      • (And don’t give a bullsh** answer like “the mind” or “fear”)

Why the Self-Improvement Industry is a Sham

  • “A person always defaults to their defaults. A person always becomes what he believes himself to be. You can behavior modify whatever you want. You can bring in the coaching gang and the self-improvement fanatics and the rah-rah motivational speakers… At the end of the day… people will default by the time walk to their cars.” – Kapil Gupta
  • “What you will become is who you believe yourself to be. What you will become is who you CANNOT stop yourself from becoming. What you will achieve are the things you CANNOT help from achieving. What you will accomplish are the things you CANNOT live without accomplishing.” – Kapil Gupta
    • “At the end of the day, your story, your fate, your destiny, where you will go… it’s already been written, and it’s been written by who you believe yourself to be.”
      • “Everything in your life is already written. You don’t have to look at that from the standpoint of fate but from the standpoint of who you are on the inside. That’s who you will become.”
    • “There’s no amount of behavior modification or rah-rah that I can fill you with to become the world’s greatest if your self-image and DNA is not that of someone who MUST be the greatest in the world.”
  • To sum up:
    • “Your fate is sealed by your DNA. Even if you come to a point where you have an epiphany or realization that you truly want to walk the path of truth, and you never have before, that’s also DNA. The DNA, the seed of that DNA, seeking the truth, and having the epiphany… that existed. You are not going to change who you are. Self-improvement is a complete sham.” – Kapil Gupta

The Truth About Self-Image

  • “NO ONE is enough in their own eyes when they view themselves as a personality or as a self called John or Joe. You CANNOT be enough. You can rah-rah yourself into believing that, but you won’t genuinely believe it.” – Kapil Gupta
  • “A person who is conscious of his self is a person who will always have insecurities about that self. A person is at his best when he isn’t aware of himself.” – Kapil Gupta
    • When someone’s lost in their art, whatever it is… that’s when they’re at their best
      • “At that moment, they have no deficiencies, and the reason that he/she doesn’t is because, at that moment, he/she has no self.”
  • Just like in business, how everything sooner or later returns to money…
    • “In human beings, everything, sooner or later, returns to happiness or self-image” Kapil Gupta

Does Kapil ever have days where his mind is filled with negative thoughts?

  • Negative vs. positive is irrelevant, here’s why:
    • “When you go to a landfill, is there some garbage that’s more clean than other garbage?” – Kapil Gupta
      • You’d never go to a landfill and compare cleanliness vs. dirt – it’s all the same
  • “The mind is a barking dog… You’re not going to stop the mind from barking. If you try to, you’ll be basically trying to bale water out of a sinking boat with a teacup for the rest of your life.”Kapil Gupta
    • “The only reason that you’re trying to stop the mind from barking is the reason it’s barking in the first place… The only reason someone wants to stop the mind from barking is because they wish to feel the pleasure of peace. The reason the mind is barking in the first place is because they wish to fulfill the pleasure of desire.”

The Cause of All Suffering

  • “The search for happiness and pleasure is the most FRUITLESS search of a human life, and is the single most critical reason why a human being lives in suffering.”Kapil Gupta

Examine the False Self

  • “The person who examines himself to the utmost degree is the person who knows all human beings” Kapil Gupta
    • Why? – We know about the world and other human beings through ourselves
  • “What matures over time is seriousness and sincerity. As we grow older, we begin to see the folly of things… We begin to see the foolishness and silliness of the things that happen in life… As we begin to look into those things and see the foolishness of it, and to see the holes and falsehoods, then we begin to examine the nature of the self.” – Kapil Gupta
    • “When you begin to see through things… and you begin to see the falsehood in things you used to believe as true, the things that you see as false [like the self] automatically begin to fall away.”

On Writing

  • “In many ways, I’m not the one who writes what I do… It just gets written through my fingers somehow.” Kapil Gupta
    • For this reason, Kapil never goes back to edit what he writes to make it sound better: “That would destroy what it is I’m most seeking, which is to truly allow the deepest things to come out untouched and raw.”
  • “Most of what I write isn’t for anyone, to be honest with you. Quite frankly, I don’t know why anybody at all would read what I write. There’s no positivity or negativity… The only person who would be interested in the TRUTH is the one who’s genuinely seeking it. The person who isn’t interested in truth is seeking positivity and happiness. That is almost EVERYONE. I’m not sure how I have more than 1onefollower on Twitter. It makes no sense to me.”
  • “I write when things arise and there’s a desire to explore it. The writing is the exploration. The desire to explore opens the gates and the words come.”Kapil Gupta

How to Determine if You’ve Made a Good Decision

  • Ask yourself: “Where do I want to go, and is the motivation behind the decision inline with this?”
    • If so, then it’s a good decision
  • On asking for decision validations:
    • “Most of the time, maybe even always, people have already decided without deciding… A lot of times, they ask for permission, not because they don’t know what to do.” – Kapil Gupta
      • Therefore, asking for an opinion on a decision is just another clever way of seeking pleasure/re-enforcing self-image
    • “The more critical a decision, the less reason there is to consult someone because that’s when it needs to be most pure.” Kapil Gupta

Guiding Someone Towards the Truth

  • “The more serious that someone is in guiding someone, the less they will preach to them. The more serious that someone is, the less they’ll answer their questions because all questions come in the form of prescription.” – Kapil Gupta
  • “The watering of the seeds will come through exposure to truth without trying to teach them, preach them, or answer their questions” – Kapil Gupta
    • When someone’s exposed to the truth, either they have the DNA to imbibe it or not – there’s nothing you can do

Ultimate Truths

  • “It’s genuinely about seeing the emptiness of all things and that nothing has any significance… The ultimate truth is that there is nothing. There’s no greater truth than that.” Kapil Gupta
  • “Everything operates according to its own rhythm. Everything operates according to its own cause and effect. Any attempt to interrupt that rhythm or modify the effect that was naturally occurring by a particular cause is a road to suffering, pain, anxiety, and failure.”Kapil Gupta
    • “A leaf rides on the surface of a river, and in doing so, assumes the power of the river… That’s wisdom… That’s nature following its rhythms. Human beings have this hammer and nail, brute force mentality. Wisdom is much more along the lines of a willow tree. It’s about going with the wind and harnessing the wind, as opposed to fighting it.”

Additional Notes

  • “Everyone is predisposed to doing and pursuing that which is their greatest desire. You don’t desire in order to act; your actions determine your desires.”Kapil Gupta
  • “You will never go anywhere else but where you are. If you’re standing here but want to be over there, the only way to get over there is by understanding where you first are.” – Kapil Gupta
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