Late-Night Texting, Gift-Giving Etiquette, and More – Were You Raised By Wolves?, Hosted By Leah Bonnema and Nick Leighton

Check out the Were You Raised By Wolves? Episode Page & Show Notes

Key Takeaways:

  • Rule of thumb: text no later than 9 PM and no sooner than 10 AM unless it’s an emergency
  • If you know you have to leave early from a sit-down meal at a friend’s house, plant that seed as soon as possible
  • If someone’s fly is down, be discreet and direct. Make eye contact and say – “Your fly’s down.”
  • Avoid giving gifts that give people work
    • When a gift becomes effort, it’s not a gift
  • At the laundromat, wait ten minutes before removing someone else’s clothes from the washer or dryer


How late is too late to text somebody?

  • For one, it depends on who you’re texting
  • Rule of thumb: text no later than 9 PM and no sooner than 10 AM unless it’s an emergency

Is there a polite way to excuse yourself during a sit-down lunch or dinner at a friend’s house?

  • Plant the seed as soon as you can that you have to leave early
    • But: “You should never actually give a specific excuse. If you’re explaining, you’re losing.” – Leah Bonnema
  • Stay through the normal progression of the meal (through dessert) unless it’s at a secondary location (never go to the second location)

How do you tell someone their fly is down?

  • Be direct, be discreet, and don’t use euphemisms
  • Make eye contact and just say – “Your fly’s down”
  • These same rules apply for women

Is it rude to give someone an unusually large surprise gift, like an enormous painting?

  • Yes, especially if you don’t know the person that well and the gift is large enough that it would require rearranging their apartment
  • It’s important to avoid giving gifts that give people work (like having to decide where to place the item)
    • When a gift becomes effort, it’s not a gift

At the laundromat, how long should you wait before taking someone else’s stuff out of the washer and dryer?

  • Five minutes minimum
  • Waiting 30 minutes is definitely too long
  • The optimum wait time is ~10 minutes (and the clock starts when you arrive at the laundromat)
  • When no one shows, pull out the clothes:
    • If they’re in the washer, don’t put them in the dryer – put them in a basket
    • If the clothes are in the dryer, take them out “nicely” – folding is NOT necessary, but be as respectful as you can

Do you have to wait for a travel companion if you have Global Entry and they don’t?

  • (Global entry is essentially expedited immigration)
  • If you feel like hanging out with your friend, wait. Otherwise, meet them on the other side of baggage claim.
  • You shouldn’t have to wait because your friend hasn’t made this a priority

Do you have to return a missed call if they don’t leave a message?

  • I don’t think you have to return unless you’re concerned about someone’s well-being” – Nick Leighton
  • However, there are situations where you may want to get back to your parents or a close friend to make sure there’s not an emergency situation

What do you do when someone gives you a gift you hate (like a dreamcatcher)?

  • If it’s from your mom (or anyone) just say thank you and put it away
    • Then, re-gift it later, or donate it to the Salvation Army