Emily Morse: How to Have More Mind-Blowing Sex – The Genius Life

Check out The Genius Life Episode Page & Show Notes

Key Takeaways

  • Only 20-30% of women have orgasms during sex
  • Masturbation is very beneficial for women
  • More and more men are seeking therapy for porn addiction
  • Communication is lubrication!”
    • You NEED to communicate with your partner about your sexual needs (most people don’t prioritize this)
  • Sex communication tip:
    • The compliment sandwich – good compliment, sexual request, another good compliment
  • Constantly be experimenting in the bedroom with your partner
    • Seek variety and change up your sexual routine whenever you can
  • Foreplay is a MUST for women

Products Mentioned

  • Emily’s lube recommendation: Pjur

Intro

Why did Emily become a sex therapist?

The Health Benefits of Sex

  • Sex improves:
    • Blood flow
    • The immune system
      • Antibody levels are increased
    • Hormone levels
  • Touch is important for good health (not just sex, but kissing and hand holding)
  • As background: the brain patterns of someone “in love” look like those of someone on cocaine

Masturbation for Women

  • Emily encourages women to masturbate – it’s a valuable form of self-love
    • Further – Only 20-30% of women have orgasms during sex
  • Women should take the time to explore themselves without the added pressure of having an orgasm
    • Experiment to see what you like
  • Kegel exercises are important for both men and women
    • Emily calls them a “game changer” for your pelvic floor muscles
    • Start with just 5 minutes, twice a day
  • More masturbation benefits:
    • Serves as a sleep aid
    • Mitigates symptoms of PMS
    • Aids the immune system
    • Reduces migraines
    • For men – it can help improve timing

Why is it difficult for many women to enjoy sex?

  • Mainly because of the patriarchal society we live in
    • Culturally, its more about the man
  • There’s also religious reasons
    • (Sex is only for procreation)
  • Then there’s the added shame component
    • Many women are raised in a way that leads them to think sex is shameful

Should women have sex on the first date?

  • Only if they want to and as long as they’re not pressured
    • But if you wake up and have “shame-over”, don’t do it again

Porn

  • There’s a few problems with it:
    • Misinformation – that’s not what sex is like 90% of the time
    • It’s addicting – more and more men are seeking therapy for porn addiction
    • It makes it more difficult to be present with your partner (many use porn as an escape to disassociate and numb their emotions)
  • Watching porn as a couple might make it easier to add variety/switch things up

The Importance of Communication

  • Communication is lubrication!”
    • You NEED to communicate with your partner about your sexual needs (most people don’t prioritize this)
  • What if you’re embarrassed to discuss sex with your partner?
    • It’s a reasonable fear – it ties into the fact that one of our core fears as human beings is not being loved
    • Have a conversation outside the bedroom when you’re hanging out together
  • Communication tip:
    • The compliment sandwich: good compliment, sexual request, another good compliment

Should you marry a virgin?

  • This is more common than you realize because of religion
  • In general… try to avoid it
    • Sex is a huge part of any successful relationship – you should know whether or not you’re into the same things prior to tying the know

Common Complaints About Sex From Women

  • Not size, but performance
  • Not enough foreplay
    • For women, it’s a MUST

What doesn’t support optimal sexual performance?

  • Drinking, smoking, drugs
  • Unhealthy fat
  • A lack of exercise

What about lubricants?

  • There are bad products out there
    • Avoid buying lubricants with parabens (AKA most drugstore lubricants)
  • Recommendations
    • Pjur is top notch
    • You can’t go wrong with coconut oil and or massage oil

Additional Notes

  • Constantly be experimenting in the bedroom with your partner
    • Seek variety and change up your sexual routine whenever you can
  • 2 out of 5 women need therapy for some form of sexual trauma
  • If you want a good sex life with your partner, you HAVE to prioritize it
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